BDSM

This isn’t 50 Shades of Grey

It’s time to drop the pretenses. Enter the real world of BDSM and learn to take control – or surrender it.

BDSM for beginners

You don’t have to be a sex-craved masochist to know that pleasure and pain can be felt simultaneously. Just think of the burn from a really spicy chilli… or from a solid gym session.

BDSM is the umbrella term to describe a number of kinks. You can try out one element, like bondage, or try them all – there’s no judgement here.

But it’s important to note that the BDSM you see in TV and films isn’t always depicted realistically (like in the above mentioned 50 Shades). That’s why many people typically have a few misconceptions about what BDSM is.

If you still want to give it a try, we’ve put together some beginners tips on how BDSM should work.

BONDAGE

Bondage is a type of erotic play where one person is restrained. While at times during play it may seem as though the person restrained isn’t willing, consent is still of the utmost importance.

DOMINATION & SUBMISSION

Dom and Sub play can be a lot of fun – and while women are often depicted as the Sub (at least in hetero relationships), this doesn’t have to be the case. Women can dominate their male partners too. They can also choose to switch it up now and then, as can same-sex couples.

SADISM & MASOCHISM

Are you a sadist (who likes inflicting pain)? Or a masochist (who likes pain)? Of course, it’s not just all about pain, either. Humiliation also falls into this category, such as cuckolding or some forms of group sex.

A new kind of trust-building exercise

As we’ve stated, BDSM isn’t only about mixing pain and pleasure. There’s elements of control in there too – which should only be done in a situation where you feel safe. 

If you’re the one in control, it’s important to always be aware of your partner’s needs. Let’s take spanking as an example. One of the milder forms of BDSM play, you should still be taking note of your partner’s reactions and tailor your stokes to that. Communication, whether verbal or physical, is key.

By doing BDSM safely, it’s far easier to get lost in the experience, letting the new sensations wash over you and ultimately bringing you and your partner closer together – rather than further apart.

What about safe words?

“We’re lovers, Anastasia. Lovers don’t need safe words.” – Christian Grey

Sorry Mr. Grey, but you are wrong.

Safe words are so important. And they’re not just for the Subs. They’re designed to give everyone involved the confidence that what is happening is actually wanted. No fear, no guilt, no mistakes. 

Classic safe words are based on the traffic light system. Your ‘red’ word means ‘stop immediately’, your yellow ‘slow down’, and your green ‘keep going’. Simple. Clear. Effective.

Aftercare is crucial

BDSM can take you to a dark and wonderful place, but if you really want the intimacy it can bring, you need to factor in aftercare. Whether this is simply cuddling after, or talking about your experience together ultimately depends on you and your partner.

The different types of BDSM equipment

Want to fit out your very own sex dungeon? The world of BDSM is vast and exciting, with a wide range of equipment that can help you and your partner get your rocks off.

PADDLES & WHIPS

If you want to try spanking, it should be done right. That means making sure you have the right tools for the job. Paddles and whips are great BDSM options, as are canes and floggers. The right option is the one that gives you and your partner the sensations you’re craving.

RESTRAINTS

Tying your partner to the bed frame is easy enough with some ties, and maybe something you’ve already tried on a whim. But if you wanna get serious with your restraints, there’s plenty out there. From bondage rope to spreader bars to cuffs and more. 

BLINDFOLDS & GAGS

Some say that sensory deprivation increases the sensations in the body during play. That feather sliding down past your navel will send chills up your spine. As for gags? Another way to give up control – although you should work out with your partner how you will convey your safe words beforehand.

What BDSM equipment is right for you?

The above is only the icing on the cake. There’s still a whole creamy centre waiting to be devoured. 

Thankfully, at Sneak Peak we’ve made it easier for you to enjoy the whole cake. We review a wide range of sex toys and BDSM equipment to help you decide what to try out first. Start shopping online today and let your kink flag fly high.